This season I have been rating the food at each Southern Premier League ground and made a final league table at the end of the season. I decided to do this little project after discussions with other Totton fans about the standard of food at grounds last season. And to have an excuse to buy a burger at every away ground this season. Burgers have been scored on:
- Taste
- Juiciness
- Size - Bigger the better
- Price - Value for money
- Buns - Soft or stale
- Extras - Sauces, cheese, bacon, onions etc
**Side Note** I want to make this perfectly clear. Please be aware that I absolutely HATE onions. Disgusting horrible stuff. I'd rather eat broken glass. So having onions as an extra will get points for having it only, not because I've actually had onion in my burger.
So Cambridge City win the 2011/12 Southern Premier Burger League. Their burgers were more like steaks and bursting with juiciness. They were almost as thick as they were round. Frome, Barwell, Chesham and Hemel Hempstead finish in the play off places, while at the bottom relegation beckons for Swindon, Totton and Leamington. That might be a tad harsh on Swindon who didn't actually have burgers, but that is no excuse I'm afraid. It's fair to say though that if Swindon had been serving burgers, Totton would be rock bottom of the league with our dry, tasteless, pre-cooked burgers. Ask any Testwood Stadium regular and they'll tell you to steer clear of the burgers. There's a McDonalds 2 miles down the road at Ower Services. Redditch survive relegation thanks to their burgers being better value for money than Leamington's. Without being 4 points better off than Leamington in the Price scores, they would be in the bottom 3 because of Leamington's better score for Taste.
Arlesey Town:
Taste: 7/10
Juiciness: 6/10
Size: Large. 8/10
Buns: Half and half. Not soft but not hard either. 6/10
Extras: Fair range of sauces, condiments etc. 7/10
Price: Reasonable. 6/10
Drinks: 7/10
Bovril: Yes (1 point).
Overall: 48/71
Hemel Hempstead:
Taste: 7/10
Juiciness: 6/10
Size: Large. 8/10
Buns: Toasted buns. Marvellous. 8/10
Extras: Loads of sauces available, including my favourite, garlic mayo. 10/10
Price: Good value. 8/10
Drinks: Tea was almost as good as I make it at home. 8/10
Bovril: Yup (1 point)
Overall: 56/71
Leamington:
Taste: 7/10
Juiciness: 5/10
Size: Large-ish. 6/10
Buns: Soft. Quite nice. 7/10
Extras: Plenty of sauce choice. And bacon! Bonus. 8/10
Price: £4 for a cheeseburger with bacon? Jog on. 2/10
Drinks: The Stella Artois was cloudy and tasted funny. 4/10
Bovril: Oui (1 point)
Overall: 40/71
Brackley Town:
Taste: 8/10
Juiciness: 9/10
Size: Large-ish. 6/10
Buns: Soft and floury. Nice. 7/10
Extras: The cheese was grated cheddar and not those processed slices. 8/10
Price: £2.50. Reasonable. 7/10
Drinks: Tea, coffee, soft drinks, alcohol etc. Lager was lovely, and the tea was just right. 8/10
Bovril: Yarr (1 point)
Overall: 54/71
St Albans City:
Taste: 7/10
Juiciness: 6/10
Size: Quite big. 8/10
Buns: What's that word when bread that falls apart? Well it was like that. 5/10
Extras: Cheese, onions (neither of which I had. I hate onions). Loads of sauces. 8/10
Price: £2.50. Not bad for the size of the burger. 7/10
Drinks: Tea, coffee, soft drinks. Didn't go into the clubhouse so no idea on alcohol. 7/10
Bovril: Couldn't see any. (0 points)
Overall: 48/71
Evesham United
Taste: 8/10
Juiciness: 7/10
Size: 7/10
Buns: Soft. Very nice. 8/10
Extras: Cheese, bacon, ketchup. I'm happy. 8/10
Price: £3.00. Pretty standard. 7/10
Drinks: Tea was lovely. Thatcher's Gold cider in the bar = Win. 9/10
Bovril: Absolutely (1 point)
Overall: 55/71
Redditch United
Juiciness: 9/10
Evesham United
Taste: 8/10
Juiciness: 7/10
Size: 7/10
Buns: Soft. Very nice. 8/10
Extras: Cheese, bacon, ketchup. I'm happy. 8/10
Price: £3.00. Pretty standard. 7/10
Drinks: Tea was lovely. Thatcher's Gold cider in the bar = Win. 9/10
Bovril: Absolutely (1 point)
Overall: 55/71
Redditch United
Taste: 6/10
Juiciness: 5/10
Size: 6/10
Buns: 7/10
Extras: 6/10
Price: £3.20. 6/10
Drinks: 7/10
Bovril: Rather. (1 point)
Overall: 44/71
Frome Town:
Taste: 10/10Frome Town:
Juiciness: 9/10
Size: Quite big. 8/10
Buns: Soft and warm. 10/10
Buns: Soft and warm. 10/10
Extras: Cheese and bacon = win. Chips were best so far this season. 10/10
Price: £3.50. The burger was great so no complaints about price. 9/10
Drinks: Usual selection. Don't think I had a drink at Frome though. 8/10
Bovril: Yep (1 point)
Overall: 65/71
Bedford Town:
Taste: 8/10
Juiciness: 8/10
Size: Quite big. 8/10
Bedford Town:
Taste: 8/10
Juiciness: 8/10
Size: Quite big. 8/10
Buns: Soft and floury. Lovely. 7/10
Extras: Cheese and bacon. The chips were good. Ketchup and mayo. Can't go wrong. 9/10
Price: £3.50. 6/10
Drinks: Lovely cuppa was just what I needed. Bloody freezing. 8/10
Bovril: Indeed (1 point)
Overall: 55/71
Oxford City:
Oxford City:
Taste: 8/10
Juiciness: 5/10
Juiciness: 5/10
Size: 7/10
Buns: Bit stale round the edges. 5/10
Extras: Cheese, bacon etc. No chips!?!? Massive let-down. 5/10
Price: £3.00. 7/10
Drinks: Tea, coffee, hot chocolate etc. 7/10
Bovril: Quite (1 point)
Overall: 45/71
Chippenham Town
Taste: 8/10
Juiciness: 6/10
Size: Quite large. 7/10
Buns: Soft and floury. Very nice. 8/10
Extras: The usual. They also had my fave, garlic mayo! 7/10
Price: £2.20 for a cheeseburger. Best price so far this season, especially for the size of the burger. 10/10
Drinks: Tea, coffee, hot chocolate etc. 7/10
Bovril: Indubitably (1 point)
Overall: 54/71
Weymouth
Taste: 6/10
Juiciness: 6/10
Size: 8/10
Buns: 7/10
Extras: Cheese, bacon, etc. First double burger option I've seen this season. 9/10
Price: £4. Bit steep, but I did have a double with cheese. 6/10
Drinks: The usual. You know the drill by know. 7/10
Bovril: Most assuredly (1 point)
Overall: 50/71
Barwell
Taste: 10/10
Juiciness: 9/10
Size: 7/10
Buns: 8/10
Extras: The usual. Cheese, bacon. They even did cheesy chips! Delicious. 9/10
Price: £2.40 for a cheeseburger. It's been £3 or more elsewhere. 10/10
Drinks: Tea, coffee etc. Although there was no bar. Pub was 400 yards away. 7/10
Bovril: Affirmative (1 point)
Overall: 61/71
Cirencester Town
Taste: 8/10
Juiciness: 8/10
Size: 9/10
Buns: 9/10
Extras: No bacon, but there was an extensive selection of sauces and condiments. 6/10
Price: £2.50. £4 for cheeseburger and chips. Bargain! 9/10
Drinks: Only hot drinks on the premises were from a machine in the bar. 4/10
Bovril: Didn't see any. (0 points)
Overall: 53/71
Swindon Supermarine ***NO BURGERS!!!***
Taste: 0/10
Cambridge City
Taste: 10/10
Chippenham Town
Taste: 8/10
Juiciness: 6/10
Size: Quite large. 7/10
Buns: Soft and floury. Very nice. 8/10
Extras: The usual. They also had my fave, garlic mayo! 7/10
Price: £2.20 for a cheeseburger. Best price so far this season, especially for the size of the burger. 10/10
Drinks: Tea, coffee, hot chocolate etc. 7/10
Bovril: Indubitably (1 point)
Overall: 54/71
Weymouth
Taste: 6/10
Juiciness: 6/10
Size: 8/10
Buns: 7/10
Extras: Cheese, bacon, etc. First double burger option I've seen this season. 9/10
Price: £4. Bit steep, but I did have a double with cheese. 6/10
Drinks: The usual. You know the drill by know. 7/10
Bovril: Most assuredly (1 point)
Overall: 50/71
Barwell
Taste: 10/10
Juiciness: 9/10
Size: 7/10
Buns: 8/10
Extras: The usual. Cheese, bacon. They even did cheesy chips! Delicious. 9/10
Price: £2.40 for a cheeseburger. It's been £3 or more elsewhere. 10/10
Drinks: Tea, coffee etc. Although there was no bar. Pub was 400 yards away. 7/10
Bovril: Affirmative (1 point)
Overall: 61/71
Cirencester Town
Taste: 8/10
Juiciness: 8/10
Size: 9/10
Buns: 9/10
Extras: No bacon, but there was an extensive selection of sauces and condiments. 6/10
Price: £2.50. £4 for cheeseburger and chips. Bargain! 9/10
Drinks: Only hot drinks on the premises were from a machine in the bar. 4/10
Bovril: Didn't see any. (0 points)
Overall: 53/71
Swindon Supermarine ***NO BURGERS!!!***
Taste: 0/10
Juiciness: 0/10
Size: 0/10
Buns: 0/10
Extras: Cone of chips for a quid was decent. Nothing else though. 2/10
Price: 0/10
Drinks: Usual. 7/10
Bovril: Positively. (1 point)
Overall: 10/71
(Who the hell doesn't have burgers at a football match?! Well, Swindon, evidently.)Cambridge City
Taste: 10/10
Juiciness: 10/10
Size: Proper piece of meat, more like a steak. 10/10
Buns: Soft and floury. 9/10
Extras: Cheese, bacon, egg, cone of chips, plenty of sauces. 10/10
Price: £4 but well worth it. 8/10
Drinks: We nearly drank the bar dry. Tea and coffee available as well 10/10
Bovril: Um... didn't see any. (0 points)
Overall: 67/71
Banbury United
Banbury United
Taste: 7/10
Juiciness: 6/10
Size: 8/10
Buns: They were out of burger buns so improvised with 2 hot dog buns. Bread is bread. 7/10
Extras: Cheese, but no bacon. Plenty of sauces. 6/10
Price: £2.50. Decent. 8/10
Drinks: Well stocked bar and they had their own ale; Puritans Smooth. 9/10
Bovril: Can't remember. Don't think so. (0 points)
Overall: 51/71
Hitchin Town
Taste: 7/10
Chesham United
Hitchin Town
Taste: 7/10
Juiciness: 5/10
Size: 6/10
Buns: Soft but fell apart quite easily. 5/10
Extras: Cheese, bacon, egg. Loads of bacon in the burger. 8/10
Price: £3.20. Decent for the amount of bacon you get in the bacon burger. 7/10
Drinks: The usual. 7/10
Bovril: Yarp. (1 point)
Overall: 46/71Chesham United
Taste: 8/10
Juiciness: 8/10
Size: 8/10
Buns: 8/10
Extras: Cheese, bacon, onions, plenty of sauces. 8/10
Price: £3.20. 7/10
Drinks: Well stocked bar. And everything else. 8/10
Bovril: Aye. (1 point)
Overall: 56/71
Bashley
Taste: 6/10
Juiciness: 5/10
Size: 7/10
Buns: 7/10
Extras: Cheese, bacon etc. Not many sauces though. 6/10
Price: £3.20. I think. Can't really remember. 7/10
Drinks: 8/10
Bovril: Of course. (1 point)
Overall: 47/71
Stourbridge
Taste: 7/10
Bashley
Taste: 6/10
Juiciness: 5/10
Size: 7/10
Buns: 7/10
Extras: Cheese, bacon etc. Not many sauces though. 6/10
Price: £3.20. I think. Can't really remember. 7/10
Drinks: 8/10
Bovril: Of course. (1 point)
Overall: 47/71
Stourbridge
Taste: 7/10
Juiciness: 5/10
Size: 8/10
Buns: 7/10
Extras: Ultimate burger crime committed. NO BACON. The chips and curry sauce were top notch though. 5/10
Price: £2.50. Well worth it. 8/10
Drinks: 8/10
Bovril: Nein. (0 points)
Overall: 48/71
AFC Totton
AFC Totton
Taste: Almost non-existant. 3/10
Juiciness: Burgers are cooked and wrapped in grease-proof paper long before being served and are kept warm in a cabinet thing until the punters arrive. There's more juice in an empty Ribena carton. 2/10
Size: Standard size burger. 6/10
Buns: 5/10
Extras: Cheese and onions. Apparently tasteless. I wouldn't know. I hate onions. No bacon. 3/10
Price: £3.00. You'd probably want it back. 3/10
Drinks: Hot drinks from food kiosk. The bar is well run and well stocked, with special offers when live football is on the TV in the clubhouse. 8/10
Bovril: Yes. (1 point).
Overall: 31/71
